The Omi Horror Picture Show
by Serenity Rose
Summary: Yet another Rocky Horror parody! Unfinished! Don't kill me, please!


Cast (in order of appearance):  
  
Usherette: Manx  
  
Brad Major: Brad  
  
Janet Weiss: Youji  
  
Photographer: Reiji Takitori  
  
Criminologist: Nagi  
  
Riffraff: Farfarello  
  
Magenta: Ran  
  
Columbia: Schuldich  
  
Dr. Frank N. Furter: Ken  
  
Rocky: Omi  
  
Eddie: SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE! Duo Maxwell  
  
Dr. Scott: Persia  
  
  
  
1 Science Fiction, Double Feature  
  
Manx:  
  
Ayashi was there the day the earth stood still.  
  
But she told us of her clan.  
  
And Tenchi Muyo was there in Ryoko's underwear.  
  
Dilandau was a psychotic man.  
  
Then something went wrong for Heero Yuy and Duo  
  
When their gundams took interpretive dance.  
  
Then at a deadly pace, Him came from Townsville Bank,  
  
And this is how the laughter transed:  
  
Schuldich: (walks in, looking rather ridiculous and absolutely livid in a skimpy maid outfit) This sucks!! You made me shave my legs! The least you could do is hurry this thing along! NOW!  
  
Manx: (pouts) Well fine then!  
  
To and late night, double feature, picture show.  
  
In the back row. Oh oh oh.  
  
To the late night, double feature, pic ture show.  
  
(lips fade out to a church cross and a large chapel. Smiling happily, Tamahome skips out of the church in a white wedding gown, Tasuki following closely with his arms crossed and his face red, looking enraged. He stalks over to Brad, whom is looking quite the same, and they brood quietly as they watch Tamahome skip around merrily, chattering wildly to all their guests. There's a photographer shuffling around taking pictures, but he isn't really important…)  
  
Photographer: Hey! Watch it!  
  
( (glares at Reiji) Ahem, yes, anyway…)  
  
Tamahome: (climbs up to the top of the chapel steps, grinning like a fool) Alright ladies and gents, here it comes!  
  
Tasuki: (glares at Tamahome)  
  
Tamahome: (tosses the bouquet of red roses out into the crowd, and Youji immediately jumps into the air, catching it, screaming "I GOT IT!! I GOT IT!!")  
  
Tasuki: (blinks, turning to Brad and saying slowly, as if he were reading from a teleprompter) Oh… look at that… you old rascal… looks like you're next.  
  
Brad: (glares over at Tasuki, then Youji, then Tasuki again) Don't count on it.  
  
Tamahome: (smiles over to Tasuki) Come on baby! Off to the honeymoon!  
  
Tasuki: (rolls his eyes, stalking over to Tamahome and muttering under his breath) Well, this oughta' be rich…  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome climb into a horse-drawn carriage with a "Just Married" banner hanging across the back, though the "i" had been crossed out so that it read, "Just Marred". Duo snickers quietly to himself as the carriage pulls away, and everyone chases after it, save Brad, Youji, and a few Mennonites that look suspiciously like Farfarello, Schuldich, and Ran.)  
  
Youji: (skips merrily over to Brad, picking at the roses a bit) Oh wasn't the wedding beautiful? And Tama-kun looked simply stunning! It's hard to believe that just a little while ago, he was regular old bird-transforming Tamahome, and now… (sigh) Now he's Mrs. … Tasuki. (long sigh)  
  
Brad: Nn…  
  
Youji: (blinks a moment, clearing this throat loudly)  
  
Brad: ….  
  
Youji: (clears his throat louder and elbows Brad hard in the side)  
  
Brad: OW! Alright… fine!  
  
2 Dammit, Youji  
  
Brad: Uhm, Youji…  
  
Youji: (quickly) Yes, Brad?  
  
Brad: I've… got something to say…  
  
Youji: (hesitantly) Uh huh?  
  
Brad: I really love the… skillful way… you beat those fangirls to the bride's bouquet.  
  
Youji: (bashfully, hiding behind the roses) Oh… oh, Brad…  
  
Brad: The river was deep but I swam it. (Youji)  
  
I can see the future, so let's read it. (Youji)  
  
So please, don't tell me to shut the fuck up. (Youji)  
  
I've got one thing to say and that's Dammit, Youji, I love you.  
  
Schuldich: BRAD! STOP PRETENDING TO SING! YOU SUCK!  
  
(fwaks Schu)  
  
Schuldich: What?! It's true!  
  
(Hmm… you're right. Sorry, Brad, but you're cut from the rest of this number. Brad sings a big long-winded song, then asks Youji to marry him, and they both decide to go see their old teacher, Schuchi Takitori, or Persia, as he's better known.)  
  
(cut to a scene of Nagi in a very cozy-looking little office, seated in a comfy brown swivel chair…)  
  
Nagi: (spins around in the swivel chair) WHEEEEEEEEE…..  
  
(Ahem…)  
  
Nagi: (blinks and stops) Oh, am I on?  
  
((nods))  
  
Nagi: (straightens up professionally, trying to erase the embarrassment of the former "Omi" moment, and folds his hands in front of him, looking down at a large book of photos) It seemed like a perfectly normal day when Brad Crawford (turns page to a picture of Brad and his info) and his fiancé, Youji Kudo (flips page to picture of Youji and his info) decided to go see their former teacher, Schuchi Takitori, a.k.a. Persia (flips to that page). A simple night out, correct? A night out… It was a night out that they would not soon forget.  
  
(cut to Brad and Youji driving down a road in heavy rain. Youji is playing with some wire from the little gizmo on his wrist, and Brad is concentrating on the road, listening to the radio (Like A Virgin) at the same time. Youji furrows a brow as a motorcycle drives by, engine roaring loudly.)  
  
Youji: I can't believe it, that's, like, the third motorcycle we've passed in the past mile. (shrugs and continues twirling the fingers around the wire) Who'd drive something like that in this weather?  
  
Brad: (mumbles) I wish I was with them.  
  
Youji: Huh?  
  
Brad: Nothing.  
  
(They come to a flashing Dead End sign.)  
  
Brad: Shit. They road's blocked off.  
  
Youji: (blinks) Well then where did all those motorcycles come from?  
  
Brad: (shrugs) Guess well just have to turn around. (hits reverse)  
  
(the car jumps suddenly as a loud popping sound is heard)  
  
Youji: (eyes widen as he says spastically) WHAT WAS THAT BANG?!  
  
Brad: (looks back) We must have gotten a flat. (smacks the seat) Damnit! I knew we should've gotten that spare tire fixed!  
  
Audience: YOU DUMBASS!  
  
Brad: ~_~  
  
Youji: Wasn't there a castle or something back there? Maybe they have a phone there we can use.  
  
Brad: …nn. (gets out of the car)  
  
Youji: (blinks and follows)  
  
(after a few miles, they come to a large black spiked fence, with a large sign that reads, "You a foo', man!! Turn back now! Or suffa' da' curse of Docta' Frank." Youji and Brad, of course, ignore the sign and keep going. After a few lightning strikes, Youji squeaks in fear and runs over to Brad, clutching his arm.)  
  
3 Over at the Frankenstein Place  
  
Youji: In the velvet darkness, of the blackest night, burn-  
  
Schuldich: (from offstage) YOU SUCK!!!  
  
Youji: (blinks) Uhm… There's a guiding st-  
  
Schuldich: BOO!!!!!  
  
Youji: (growls and starts offstage, to strangle Schuldich, before Brad catches him and holds him back)  
  
Schuldich: (snickers quietly)  
  
((looks to Omi) Do you think we should just skip ahead?)  
  
Omi: (nods feverishly from offstage)  
  
(Brad and Youji walk up to the doors, and Brad pounds his fist on it)  
  
Farfie: (slowly opens the door, hunched over with a bowl stuck in the back of his shirt, dark makeup all around his eyes.) Hello…  
  
Brad: Hi. I'm Brad Crawford. This is my fiancé Youji Kudo. We got a flat a few miles back. You have a phone we might use?  
  
Farfie: (blinks at them and backs away from the door, a silent request to come in)  
  
Youji and Brad: (look to each other and step inside)  
  
Farfie: (comes up behind them, startling the two and leading them to a staircase, crossing his arms and speaking in a very nasal voice) You've arrived on a very special night. The master is having a celebration.  
  
Brad: …  
  
Youji: …oh. He must be very lucky…  
  
(suddenly a form sits up on the railing, Schuldich wearing a skimpy little maid's outfit with too much makeup, grinning maniacally)  
  
Schuldich: (starts to slide down the rail, almost yelling) He's lucky, I'm lucky, WE'RE ALL LUCKY!! (laughs as he tosses Farfie a feather duster, and the clock beside them starts to toll)  
  
4 Time Warp  
  
Farfie: (runs over to a clock and opens it, revealing a very frightened- looking little blonde with odangos) It's astounding. Time is… fleeting. Madness takes it's toll. (walks out into the hallway)  
  
But listen closely…  
  
Schuldich: (follows, beckoning Brad and Youji forward) …not for very much longer.  
  
Farfie: I've got to keep control… (spins and starts singing louder) I remember… doing the Time Warp… drinking… those moments when… the blackness would hit me…  
  
(Farfie and Schuldich hold hands and start running toward a large set of doors, grinning maniacally, with Youji and Brad following)  
  
Farfie and Schuldich: …and the void would be calling…  
  
(they fling open 


End file.
